Becoming a Star Pt. 01

I was down by the river during the middle of June, laying on a patch of grass and trying to count the clouds. I’ll warn you, it’s a pretty futile exercise. Clouds don’t really stay separate all the time, but it took my mind off the quickly approaching future.

I enjoyed the feeling of the sun on my skin. I always got really tan in the summer time, and I think it complimented my blonde hair and green eyes. My dad was still giving me shit for growing my hair, but after 10 years in private schools with haircut rules, I was ready to let loose.

“Come on baby. You know it would be fun,” said my girlfriend Brook, running through the same conversation for what felt like the 1000th time.

“Say that all you want, but 4 years surrounded by Neanderthals who only have math skills when it comes to gambling isn’t my idea of fun,” I responded. Brook rolled her eyes and got on top of me.

“Ryan, I just want us to have as much fun as possible at college. Covid restrictions are still in effect, so it’ll be difficult to make friends as it is. Not to mention you’ll be living in the athlete dorms!”

She had a point here. I only had 1 class in-person that semester, and we all had to wear masks and sit 6ft apart. She was also right that I was living in the athletic dorms, but don’t be mistaken, it wasn’t because I was a D1 college athlete. There was some clerical error which switched me from a double room in the common dorms to my own room in the athletic ones. In my mind, it was a no brainer.

Sure, my smaller 5’3″ frame might stick out a bit, but I’d played soccer in high school and watched sports on TV. I was confident I could find common ground with these guys SOMEWHERE.

I asked her, “What, you don’t think the athletes will like me?”

“I just think you shouldn’t put all your eggs in one basket. The guys could be total assholes.”

Thinking out loud, I said, “Yeah, jocks in our high school weren’t exactly the most fun to be around.”

She laughed and smugly added, “And THAT’S why you need to make friends in a fraternity.”

She’d been wanting me to rush a fraternity throughout our whole senior year of high school. We were set to go to different colleges in the fall (me to Auburn and her on scholarship to Clemson), and she was determined for us both to join Greek life. I didn’t see what the big whoop was all about. Sure, we were both pretty popular in our small private high school, but now we were going to public universities. I didn’t see the appeal of joining a club just to be their slave until they accepted you.

I came at it with a new angle, “Okay how about this: I’ll join a fraternity and be a pledge, but if at any point I want to give up and drop out, you have to drop out of your chosen sorority as well.”

She bit her lip at this. I thought I had her; I knew it meant a lot to her to be a Phi Mu at Clemson (like her mom. again, no idea why this is a big deal).

I could see her thinking about it, but then she reached out her hand and said “Deal.” I was a little shocked but took her hand.

I never expected her to take the deal, so I told myself then that I’d never hold her to it. I didn’t care if she was in a Greek Life. I just didn’t want it for myself.

…

A few days later I decided I needed to get the ball rolling. I entered my online student portal and filled out some forms for rush. I learned that there are a ton of rush events throughout the summer and everyone was welcome. I even saw that most fraternities had parties on the same days, so I chose one and texted Brook to see if she could give me a ride. She quickly responded with a yes followed by a thousand little hearts. She really was a great girlfriend.

Eventually the day came, and I found myself on Fraternity Row in Auburn, Alabama. As I rushed around, I found mostly of what I was expecting: stupid frat guys forcing rushees to do stupid stuff to get bids. Eventually I went by the Pi Kappa Phi house with most of my hope spent. Pi Kappa Phi (which i learned later is affectionately referred to as ‘Pi Kap’) had a huge house with a basketball hoop in the back.

I started to talk to people and was pleasantly surprised. There were plenty of chill guys, and most people seemed pretty smart. A guy named Adam somehow knew my name and introduced himself. We shared a couple of beers, and then a couple more beers. Eventually, I started to think Pi Kappa Phi might not be so bad. Eventually the topic of school came up. After I told him my test scores and that I was majoring in CS, he quickly brought me into the house. After winding through the maze of the huge house, I found myself in front of a council of 3 guys and 1 girl. I was a little surprised to see a girl up there, wasn’t this supposed to be a brotherhood?

They whispered covertly behind their hands for a second, then the guy in the middle said, “He’ll do” and waved us on. Sheesh, they sure know how to make a guy feel welcome. With that, I was taken into a candlelit room where I had to take an oath istanbul rus escort to the fraternity (lol). After that, Adam told me I officially had a bid. He scribbled down an address on a piece of paper and handed it to me.

“Report to this address on bid day at 5:00 AM.”

I was full of questions, “Bid day? What’s that”

“Bid day is when all the girls get their bids after their rush week. It’s a big tradition here at Auburn, and we have a tradition of our own to celebrate the event.”

“Well, what’s the tradition at Pi Kap?”

“I don’t want to spoil the fun. Make sure you eat a big dinner and get a good night’s sleep the night before! Have fun at the rest of the party, I’ll see you around.”

More than a little drunk at this point, I decided to start walking around to make some friends. I struck up a few conversations and eventually found a spot in a group of other guys who had gotten bids.

“You’re looking pretty hammered hahaha. Did you just get a bid today?” the biggest one asked me with a friendly smile.

“Yeah, just a few minutes ago, how about you guys?”

“Owen and Miller here got their bids just a few weeks ago” —two guys nodded their heads to say ‘sup’— “but me and Tom got our bids in March. I’m Shawn by the way” and stuck out his hand.”

I shook it and was startled at how much bigger his hand was than mine. I know you put on your “man weight” or whatever at college, but I looked around and thought that all these guys must’ve put it on in high school!

Tom piped up and said, “So, are you guys excited to see who the Stars will be this fall?”

“Yeah! I hope ours is hot, I hear some years you get some real dogs,” Owen responded.

“True, but didn’t you hear about the new university rules? A judge said that the ‘tradition is imperative to maintaining culture and Greek relations’ or whatever. Basically, this year is supposed to be the best one yet.”

Being thoroughly confused, I finally asked, “Stars? Greek relations? What are you guys talking about?”

Shawn looked at me and laughed, “Oh you must be from out of state. Basically the stars are a group of pledg—”

Tom interrupted, looking me up and down, “Wait, wait don’t tell him. It’ll be much funnier if he gets to see with his own eyes for the first time in the fall.”

They all laughed, and I laughed with them, already cursing myself for trying to ‘fit in’.

“So when is bid day, anyway?”

“Exactly 1 month before classes start. We all get to move in the day before because ‘pledgeship’ officially starts the day after.”

Now I have to give up almost HALF of my summer for this shit? While debating how much of a bummer that was, my phone dinged. Brook was here to pick me up.

“Alright it was nice to meet you guys. I’ll see y’all on August 1st!” I said brightly (again, the alcohol).

As I was walking away, I heard Tom snicker, “Oh he’s a shoe-in to be a Star. Look at his ass shake. And that’s in wearing cargo pants, just imagine the possibilities.”

Convinced that he must’ve been talking about some girl, I walked out of the party to meet Brook.

As I was headed out, I did a double take as I saw the group of guys walking down the row. Auburn’s starting QB and two linebackers were walking in a group, clearly a little tipsy. Emboldened with liquid confidence, I beelined over to them.

“Hey guys! Sorry to bother, but I’m such a big fan and I’ll be living in y’all’s dorm this fall. I figured I’d introduce myself. My name’s Ryan,” I said, reaching out my hand.

Again, I was shocked at the difference in our sizes. God, I was ready for a growth spurt. But surprisingly, they were very nice! Damon and Isaiah (the two linebackers) were hilarious and had me cracking up right away. I was even laughing so hard I stumbled into Mac (the QB) who graciously caught me and helped me stand up.

“Say Ryan, Damon and I are members of Alpha Phi Alpha up the street a bit. We’re still looking for a Star pledge, and you might be just what we need,” Isaiah asked while I caught my breath.

“Oh sorry you guys. I just accepted a bid from Pi Kap, and I want to keep my word. But tell me, what’s a star pledge?”

They all laughed and Mac gave me with a pitying look, “A star pledge is basically—” HONK-HONK.

I instantly sobered up as I looked over and saw my girlfriend’s white Nissan pathfinder (easy to spot because I drove a Nissan rogue, a hand-me-down from my big sister. Brooke always gave me shit about driving the even-girlier version of her already-girly car. I always argued that anything “rogue” must be masculine and badass, but couldn’t say much when she pointed out the lingering perfume smell from a bottle my sister had spilled).

I quickly apologized to the guys and hustled to meet my frustrated girlfriend. I hopped in and immediately leaned for a kiss. She hesitated for a second, then kissed me back like she always did.

“So how did it go baby? Did you have the worst time izmir escort of your life with the Neanderthals?” she said smugly, noticing I was in good spirits.

“Ha ha. You can say ‘I told you so’. I got a bid from Pi Kappa Phi.”

Her head whipped around toward me with the biggest smile. God she really was beautiful. Blonde hair and big, green eyes like saucers almost filling up with tears at the news.

“Pi Kap! Baby, I’m so happy for you!”

I couldn’t help but smile and answer her next 500 questions. I was staring at her as she drove until finally I zoned out and started to fall asleep.

“Ryan. RYAN!”

I quickly jerked awake as she laughed.

“I asked about those guys you were talking to as I not-so-patiently waited for you.”

Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I replied, “Oh yeah! Those guys are on the football team so I’ll be living with them! They were honestly so chill. I was shocked they gave me the time of day.”

She had a weird look on her face. “Interesting. I was trying not to laugh as I was watching you.”

I was caught off guard. “What?”

“From where I was sitting, it almost looked like you were flirting with them!” she said, unable to hold back giggles.

“Wha- what are you talking about?” I sputtered, a little embarrassed.

“You were laughing at whatever they said as soon as you walked up! You even “fell over laughing” on the cutest one. Very subtle babe,” she laughed.

“Baby these guys are the highest of profile athletes. They’re gonna be making millions of dollars one day, excuse me for being a bit of a fanboy.”

“Looked more like a fangirl from where I was sitting, but I see your point,” she chuckled. “But gosh, if you’re acting like this with the guys, I’m scared for when the girls show up! I’m gonna have to get Frank to keep a close eye on you.”

“Who?” I asked.

“My childhood best friend Frank! You’ve met him at least 10 times! He’s a year older than us and a Pi Kap too!”

“Wait, what the fuck? THAT Frank is a Pi Kap? Here I was thinking they were good guys.”

Needless to say, I didn’t like Frank. He didn’t go to my high school, but I knew he was a huge bully to some of my club soccer buddies at their school. I’d heard endless stories of wedgies and swirlies suffered at the hands of Frank. What was this, the 90s? What kind of bully is still doing stuff like that?

“Quit that. Yes he is and you better be nice to him. Me and Frank grew up together.”

“Something tells me he’ll be the one who’s not being nice,” I muttered.

“What?” She asked.

I didn’t answer and when she looked over, I’d already started snoring

Bid Day

It was 10pm when my parents finally drove away from the dormitory. I was finally moved in, and their baby (I’m the youngest) was finally off on the next chapter. I looked around at my room and took inventory: 1 standard issue desk, 1 standard issue bed frame and mattress (now adorned with a comforter with the emblem of my favorite soccer team, the Tottenham Hotspurs), 1 dresser filled with all my clothes, and the rug my sister had donated.

It was white and quite fluffy, but when choosing between that or the hard, linoleum floors, I opted for the slightly girly rug. I started to fire up my laptop but then remembered what I had to do in the morning. About a week ago, I got a text from three other guys who had the same bid day address as me. We decided to carpool at 4:30 AM and get breakfast for everyone.

It felt like as soon as I closed my eyes, my alarm rang in my ear. I quickly showered (in my personal shower, another perk of the athletic dorms) and threw on some clothes. Before I knew it, I walked out into the early morning darkness and hopped into the bed of a pickup truck.

In the bed were Bert and Porter, and Nick was behind the wheel.

“Let’s go drink!” Nick shouted as he threw the truck in drive and sped off.

Bert and Porter seemed prepared, but my body went flying and knocked into the gate of the truck. Bert and Porter were in stitches as I regained my composure. I asked, “Drink? It’s 4AM why would we drink?”

“It’s bid day, my friend!” Bert shouted over the road noise.

So this is what bid day is? They want us to show up in the wee morning hours to get alcohol hazed for their entertainment. I was already rethinking everything.

But before I knew it, we were jumping out of the truck, Whataburger in hand, and knocked on the door of a shabby house. A super tall guy opened the door and silently ushered us in. As soon as the door closed, the room exploded.

At least 10 guys came out of nowhere screaming at us to get on the ground. We were all spooked immediately and laid down the ground. Being a frat guys house, the ground was disgusting, covered with years of dirt and grime. I looked over at Bert and it seemed he was having the same thought I was: gross.

One guy started to calm everyone down and said “ATTENTION NEWBOYS. AS OF TODAY, YOU ARE PLEDGES OF THE PI izmir otele gelen escort KAPPA PHI FRATERNITY. IF YOU UNDERSTAND, SAY YES SIR.”

“Yes s-sir” we muttered uncertainly.

“I CAN’T HEAR YOU!”

“YES SIR” we said with a bit more confidence.

“Good, good. You will be briefed with all of the rules that go along with that title tomorrow. What you need to know for today is that the MOST IMPORTANT RULE is to obey WHATEVER command an active brother gives you. IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?”

“YES SIR,” we responded.

Wait a second, whatever they command? That seems to leave way too much power the hands of a bunch of guys I’ve never met. What if they told me to fail a class, or even worse, cheat on my girlfriend?

Regardless, I was in this situation now. Better to just roll with it.

“For your first command, I want you all to start making out with the floor,” the leader said.

This was my record scratch moment. Laughing broke out amongst the brothers in the room. What the fuck did he want us to do? I looked in horror at the floor, then slowly looked over at the others in my position. Bert and Porter looked back at me in shock. Our eyes locked and we silently did a “what the fuck?” expression. But that was nothing compared to what we were about to see.

We heard him before we saw him. Wet sloshing sounds were coming from right where Nick had been when the pandemonium started. I slowly turned my head to see him passionately MACKING the floor (with tongue!).

The brothers went CRAZY. Beer went all over us and drenched our clothes, I even got stepped on a few times.

Eventually when things died down, the leader called out, “Nick was the only one of you to follow orders, so Nick gets to choose his substance for the morning. You can go upstairs and smoke weed or stay down here and start drinking.”

I had never smoked weed before, so I was relieved when Nick requested the former. A few members laughed as he was taken upstairs, the rest of us still lying on the filthy floor.

“Looks like the rest of you will be drinking alcohol!” the leader said. “Take my keys, there should be a 30 rack and some whiskey in the back for you all.”

We quickly jumped up and scurried out of the house with his keys. Once we got outside, we began to speak freely about what was going on.

“What the actual fuck was that,” Porter said worriedly.

“It caught me off guard too dude. But look, we’re trying to be Pi Kaps, surely we’re gonna have to do some gross shit along the way. Let’s just sack up and go to work, how much worse could it get?” Thanks for the encouragement, Bert.

We found his car and found a rack of hot natural lights and a bottle of Evan Williams Green Label whiskey. Fucking gross, my uncle used to drink this stuff. One time he spilled some on our carpet and I swear I heard it sizzling and burning the carpet away.

With the alcohol in hand, we hurried inside and began drinking. Things from there were a blur, us downing drink after drink through various embarrassing drinking games. They made us shotgun and take shots to start, but soon had us doing a variety of college cliché’s. The worst was when they made all of the newboys take turns doing body shots. Each of us had to lay down and get shots poured into their belly button for the other two pledges to drink.

Bert was chosen to go first and was quickly ushered up onto the white folding table in the living room. A shot was poured into his hairy belly button as I was shoved in front of him. I looked down at the shot, then up at the leader across the table. His look said that I’d better drink, or else.

Leaning into my drunkness, I decided to just go for it. I put my mouth over his belly button like a suction cup and scooped the liquor out with my tongue. I immediately threw my head back and suppressed a gag as I swallowed the mixture of burning liquor and boy sweat. I could hear all the brothers yelling “AYOO” and “Pause”, as if they had not just made me do it.

By the time I composed myself it was my turn, but they didn’t allow me the dignity of climbing onto the table myself. A guy in a wife beater came out of nowhere and scooped my legs out from under me as he picked me up. By the time we had reached the table I still hadn’t noticed that I wrapped my arms around his neck, but became immediately aware as he put me down. I quickly unwrapped my arms as I got laid on the table. Great, I bet I looked like a scared little girl getting carried over here. I looked up at the 10 or so guys surrounding the table as my face started to feel hot.

My shirt was unceremoniously pulled up like Bret’s, but instead of just enough to get at the belly button, the guy pulled the bottom of my shirt over my face so that my whole upper body was on display. I felt insanely exposed as the guys laughed and poured the first shot.

“Damn he has no happy trail! That’s not nearly as bad as Bert’s must’ve been,” someone called out from my right.

“Dude you have bitch tits,” another called out.

“Hahaha he looks like a chick laid out ready to take it,” said another.

The whole place fell into laughter as my eyes started to well up with tears. I was glad my shirt was covering my face because I was barely holding back. Their words played on insecurities I had held for a while.